i'm short and i'm loud and i'm trying really hard to be a good person. Previously: Seventeenstreets
The West literally went over to countries in Africa and taught people to see gayness as wrong and is now celebrating African “progressiveness” where it exists and trying to “save” Africa from its Western-manufactured homophobia…
A most frustrating conundrum
Anonymous asked: Smile, Live for today. You'll make it out of this alive, Better. Stay calm & focused darling. You'll shortly have radiant days ahead.
Thank you for the kind words!
I really don’t mean to sound unappreciative, because I do appreciate the sentiment but
Saying it will work out isn’t doing anything productive or telling me anything I don’t already know. It just implies that you think I need to hear it and I really don’t, and I don’t want anyone to think I need anything like that from them
I don’t know if this makes sense
And I don’t want to sound mean
And I appreciate good thoughts and lovely words from people, but when I’m feeling overwhelmed vague niceties piss me off more than they help anything
(I really don’t like relying on people or people thinking I need to rely on them. I am usually alright on my own, I know my own balance well enough)
Anonymous asked: It'll be okay. You'll get through this
I know you’re trying to be encouraging, and I appreciate the lovely thought behind this message.
That said, of course it will and of course I will. I get through everything. I survive shit, that’s what I’m good at. And there’s really no option but to get through everything, even when it’s overwhelming (as I say of class work and extra curricular things and just everything: it’ll get done. It needs to get done and so it will.)
This message fails to understand that I already know I’ll make it out of all of this, that I don’t need some outside words that are pretty hollow (you’re not saying too much and there’s no name attached) to get through it.
I appreciate you taking the time to send this, but you really didn’t have to. I already know it and I don’t like feeling like other people see me as weak or incapable.
Lately I’ve been having anxiety attacks that come out of nowhere for things that are resolvable
I need my body to stop trying to shut down at inopportune times
(I’m wondering if I’ve finally pushed myself way too far and I literally can’t keep up. I never have to quit things, I never get so overwhelmed that I have to back down. But there’s no real solution here; the play will be over next week and things will get easier in time)
Love isn’t soft, like those poets say. Love has teeth which bite and the wounds never close.
— Stephen King, The Body 1982 (via disorder)
Reflecting on “Mad Woman in the Attic” more like “how often can I use ‘penis’ in a sentence before it gets weird”